Idealist = Me

Jonathan and I have been meeting with our pastor the last few weeks for pre-marital counseling. Tonight we had an interesting discussion about idealism. It really got me to thinking...

For most of my life I have dreamt about who I would marry, how many kids we would have, and where we would live. I have wanted so badly for so long to be a wife...a mommy...

Why does the world go to such great lengths to crush these dreams?

Why is it that I am not allowed to dream big simply because no one else feels free to anymore?

Why is it that I can daydream about poofy dresses and wedding bells but not about what comes after the "I do's"?

Why is it that people roll their eyes at me when I get excited about a lifetime of making peanut butter sandwiches for Jonathan every day before he goes to work?

Why is it that they give me a pitying look when I say I can't wait to have babies?

What if I don't want pity, for Pete's sake?!?

What if I'm happy?

What if this is what I want?

What if being young and idealistic and pathetically excited is what it will take to help me push forward and, by God's grace, reach these supposedly naive goals that I have willingly set for myself?

What if I'm not as naive as you think?

What if I actually know what I'm talking about?

What if I serve a God who is bigger than the disappointments of this life?

What if He allows Jonathan and me to "succeed"?

What if you run into me in the grocery store in 10 years and realize, to your intense surprise, that we are still happily married and in love and excited about each other, despite any mistakes we had to make along the way?

What will you think then?

Will you admit that there is a better way?

Or will you say, "Well, I'm glad it worked for you," and walk away?

Will you still refuse to dream even though you've seen a dream come true?

Or will you turn to the Giver of dreams?

Will you take hold of His hand and learn to trust Him?

What will you do?

My prayer is that, by being crazily naive, I will be able to reveal a part of God to those around me that they may have never seen before. May you see the part of God that says: Dream, My child, dream. I have not called you to an ordinary life. I have not called you so that you can give in the pattern of this world. I have called you to be free and dream...